Former Bodyguard Says Britney’s Got “Toxic” B.O.

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Either Britney Spears has some major hygiene issues to work through or her late bodyguard, Fernando Flores, is looking to win a big payday and disgrace his former employer at the same time. We wish we could tell you which one is true, but alas, Britney doesn’t return our calls, even when we promise to buy her all the Cheetos and Cheerwine she wants. What we can tell you is that Flores is suing Spears for $10 million for sexual harassment. Some of his more colorful accusations are that Spears is mentally unstable, continually chain smokes, unselfconciously picks her nose and farts in front of her staff, and does not wear deodorant, brush her teeth, wear shoes and socks, or bathe for days at a time. About 10 years ago, these accusations would have had millions of horny Britney fans crying foul, but hey, this is 2011. Britney’s been legally declared incompetent for years now. At this point, we should all just be grateful she doesn’t throw poop like a chimpanzee.

Check Over Britney in happier, sweeter smelling days, like her 2002 movie Crossroads, on MrSkin.com!